💬 Things you can ask about
new
I know the newest jokes in tibia.
how are you
Thank you, I'm fine, the gods are with me.
sell
Sell? Hmm, I know a little about magic and by chance I can sell you a truly unusual weapon.
durin
Isn't he the author of the book 'fun with demons'?
stephan
He is kind of a father figure to me. Of course he denies all kinship to me.
steve
He's a smart one. I heared he hid in a foreign country as the first bugs showed up.
name
My name is Bozo. But it's more than a name, it's a lifestyle to me!
time
Since you met me it is happy hour for you.
help
I am a jester, not a doctor!
joke
I know some 'monstrous' jokes!
idiot
To me it's just a profession, but for you it's a state of mind!
wish
If you have a wish to RealSoft just write a letter and place it in a dustbin of your choice.
excalibug
I am not foolish enough to believe in the existence of this weapon.
wallcarving
Oh, I saw some demoncarvings in the dungeons as I hid there after a little joke on old Stutch.
demoncarving
Yes, they showed demons, seven actually, dancing around a sword! In a flaming pit of some kind.
flaming pit
Ah, don't ask me! Usually mages and mystics know more about such stuff.
monster
I know a lot of monster jokes. Just tell me a monster's name, come on.
demon
Why are the experienced heroes quicker than others? ... The demons love fast food!
ghoul
Where do the ghouls buy their robes? ... In a Boooohtique!
dragon
Why do dragons breathe fire? ... They ate too many sorcerers in chili sauce!
skeleton
Why do skeletons flee if wounded? ... They are so spineless!
orc
Why do orcs have green skin? ... They ate at Frodo's!
cyclops
How many eyes does a cyclops have? ... One for each IQ point of their opponents!
beholder
Why are beholders so ugly? ... Because their mom and dad were beholders, too!
rat
Why does the rat have a wooden leg? ... Because it is a former pirate!
spider
Why did the spider cross the road? ... Because it ... oh you already know this one!?
troll
Why do trolls live underground? ... Because on the ground there are so many PKs!
wolf
Why do the wolves howl? ... Hey, if you're online that long you can't help but behave that way!
minotaur
What do all little minotaurs want to become when they are grown-ups? ... Cowboys, of course!
dungeon
If you are a bad jester you get a chance to visit them now and then.
sewer
Good place for picking up apples and women.
oswald
If you believe half the rumours he's spreading, you are going to get in a lot of trouble.
update
Hey! I am supposed to make the jokes here!
god
I better make no jokes about THIS matter.
king
Nah, no jests about His Royal Highness.
sam
Did you know that he now sells a 'power axe of doom'? Run and buy it, he has only three in store.
benjamin
He would make a fine jester, too.
gorn
He sells spell scrolls each day at midnight, but you have to address him that very second.
quentin
He's my baby brother. If you tell him I sent you, he will grant you an extra spell or two.
bozo
Thats me: Bozo, the jester!
tibia
I rarely leave the castle. It's a real stress to be popular like me.
castle
The castle is my home. A place fit for a jester and all other fools. Feel welcome.
muriel
Better don't mess with sorcerers!
elane
She's pretty but has a kind of too burning affection for my taste.
marvik
Humourless old guy! Once turned me into a frog for painting his distasteful cave in pink.
gregor
A man of steel, with a stomach of wax. Never offer him a beer!
noodles
Hey, the little one is almost as funny as me!
dog
Are we talking about Noodles?
poodle
Are we talking about Noodles?
guild
Since the first guild showed up there's a great demand for jesters and fools to join them.
necromant nectar
Peeew! That sounds disgusting! Are you a cook at Frodo's?
necromant
Don't feed the necromants.
hugo
I had a cousin named like that.
cousin
He died some years ago.
💬️ Precise dialogue
Exact conversation needed to reach a specific outcome (a trade, a key, a reward). Type each line in order.
job
“I am the royal jes ... uhm ... the royal tax-collector! Do you want to pay your taxes?”
yes
“Thank you very much. I will have a drink or two on your health!”
“Come back, when you have enough money.”
jester
(or: fool)
“Do you wish to join the fools' guild?”
yes
“Sorry, you already are a member.”
weapon
“Do you want to buy a 'mace of the fury' for 250 gold?”
yes
“And here it is, it suits you well!”
“Come back, when you have enough money.”
magic
(or: spell)
“I actually know some spells! Do you want to learn how to 'lessen your load' for 200 gold?”
yes
“Here you are, I already lessened your load.”
“Come back, when you have enough money.”
paladin
“I wanted to become a paladin, too, but I was overqualified!”
“They are the king's favourites, because they know how to 'bow'.”
sorcerer
“I wanted to become a sorcerer, too, but I was overqualified!”
“The good thing about them is that they can't be at two places at the same time.”
druid
“I wanted to become a Druid, too, but I was overqualified!”
“If you are in Druidville, do as the rabbits do.”
knight
“I wanted to become a knight, too, but I was overqualified!”
“Did you notice that old knights have their scars just on their backs?”
lady
“Well, you don't behave ladylike just because you dress like one!”
“Has any man said to you that you're not only beautiful but also intelligent?”
kiss
“Uh, go away!”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
